Don't Say It, Show it: Ways To Say " I Love You " Without Saying It
It’s a strange feeling, when you’re in love. At first, the weight of the words almost stifles your ability to breathe, much less form a coherent sentence. Then, as comfort grows and gradually replaces the awkwardness that you pray your mate always found secretly endearing, saying “I love you” becomes so routine that it’s almost robotic. That doesn’t mean it’s any less true than it was when you were rendered mute. It’s just that your love and relationship have evolved past the simplest (and yet, oddly, hardest-to-say) phrase in the history of human relationships.
After 13 and a half years together (what?!), my husband and I still say “I love you” to each other daily. But it’s not those three little words that let me know that the love between us is stronger than in was over a decade ago. It’s actually everything we don’t say. It’s the things that we do for each that are the tell-tale sign of a well-kept love affair (don’t get the wrong idea: our marriage is not perfect. But it’s good, and that takes work). There are so many ways to tell your significant other that you love them without ever even opening your mouth.
I love fancy purses. A good bag speaks to my heart. One year, while I was massively pregnant with our second son, slogging it out in what felt like the hottest summer ever concocted by our sun, my dear husband surprised me with a beautiful new white leather handbag, with a bright and cheery lime green silk bow on the handle. He never said, “Baby, I love you.” But his actions spoke a million times louder than those words ever could have. He had paid attention to me lamenting the fact that I didn’t have a white summer bag. He knew that I love bows (and anything super-girly in fact). And he knew my favorite brand of handbag. He hit all the marks.
Another great way to gift the love of your life is with jewelry. Jewelry is a way to speak to a lady’s heart. This is not the case with every woman, but there are a number of us for whom jewelry is a pointed way to tell us that we’re loved. Giving jewelry takes thought and care to pick the right piece, and perhaps sacrifice to afford it. One of my favorites is the Coral Wedding Ring. Don’t let the name scare you; the occasion you’re celebrating doesn’t need to be your wedding. In fact, it doesn’t need to be an occasion at all. You can just be celebrating her. Coral is beautiful because it features two colors of gold, and undulating river of diamonds, and different gold finishes (polished and stippled). This ring doesn’t look like a wedding ring (although it’s a great option for a his-or-hers unisex wedding band). It would be a stunning right-hand diamond ring. And every time she looks at it, she will think of you. And of your good taste and sacrificial giving.
Not all ways of telling your mate need to be material, though. Gifts are not the only love language people speak. Think about acts of service. Some people experience love most profoundly when you do something for them. For example, if it’s cold outside, pump your mate’s gas. Or shovel the walk before they get home. Or my personal favorite: fold a load of laundry…and put it away. Oh, be still my heart. What these acts of service say to your mate is that you so value their time, that you would rather do some of their busy work so you have more quality time together. It can be challenging, when you just want to take a seat or watch some TV. But putting your partner’s needs before your own is the perfect way to say you love them, without using those three little words.
Words of affirmation are another powerful way to show love to your partner. It may seem silly, but when my husband says to me, relaxing after a fulfilling meal, “Excellent dinner, baby,” it fills me in a way that simply saying “I love you” can’t quite compete with. Here, again, by taking the time to acknowledge something that your spouse or significant other has done well, you are letting them know that you are paying attention to them and the contributions they make to your life together.
There are about 100 million other ways to get the point across that you love your mate. To find out a little more about other love languages (in addition to gifts, acts of service, and words of affirmation), check out Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. His genius writing in that book were the inspiration and basis for the suggestions made in this blog.
Lovin’ the three little words,
Rebecca
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